It’s Official……Due on My Birthday!

Tuesday was a great day.  We had our NT Screening Ultrasound and it was our first meeting with the OB.  The place I am going seems to be a bit unorganized, as far as the receptionist communicating to Dr.’s and nurses, but all the people there are really nice and I especially love the midwife I met last week.  The ultrasound went well.  She was having a hard time getting measurements because the little one was napping.  She kept poking at him/her and finally he/she woke up.  The baby started bouncing around and she could finally get the measurements which was all under the 2.5mm that they like to see.  It was a relief and it was great to see the baby again.  This was the first time the hubby saw the baby all active.  Once we waited a good 30 minutes to see the OB she came in, asked some questions, did some measurements and tried the doppler and within seconds we heard the baby’s heartbeat!  She said at this point the miscarriage risk is so low that we should feel confident to tell the world!  I think hearing that made us both feel like wow this could really be it.  We have decided to tell the rest of our family either this weekend or next.  They finally got my original ultrasounds back and notes from the fertility clinic which put my official due date on my birthday October 20th! I know that the chance that the baby will be born on the actual due date is so low but what an amazing birthday present I am getting.  I love the fall and October.  I think it is the perfect time for our little one to be born.

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A trip to the ER and Ultrasounds

It has been 2 weeks since my last post.  I have been a ball of anxiety and fear and just couldn’t focus to put my thoughts down and write a post.  It was a crazy stressful few weeks but things seem to be getting a little calmer now.  I hope it only gets easier or less eventful from here.  Last Saturday after days of spotting and then increasing cramping my clinic finally told me to go to the ER.  I was so sure it was the end.  I was a mess and thought it was all over.  Thankfully they got me in fairly quickly and were very kind.  The hubby was working but ended up meeting me right before they wheeled me in to get the ultrasound.  It was perfect timing and I was so excited he could be there for our first ultrasound…good or bad.   Luckily it was good….we saw one beautiful baby and heartbeat.  I was almost 6 weeks.  It made me feel better to see the baby and heartbeat but my release notes of “threatened abortion” didn’t make me feel entirely better.

I got a call from the clinic on Monday checking in on me.  My Dr was out the week it happened which explained the lack of response when I was complaining about the spotting.  They set me up with an early ultrasound on Wednesday.  I was about 6 weeks 3 days and measured about 6 weeks and day.  I seem to be measuring a few days behind still which they don’t seemed too concerned about.  They found a hematoma (SCH) and she mentioned something about the placenta may have pulled away a little which caused the spotting.  To be honest, I was so stressed that nothing she said really stuck.  We did see a heartbeat which measured 115bpm.  I was a little concerned about it being low but for 6 weeks she didn’t seem to think it was bad.  I don’t think there will ever be a point I don’t find a reason to worry.  I have not been put on bed rest and have not really been told to restrict activity.  The spotting and cramping seem to be gone which have given me some comfort.  But I know we are not out of the water and I am of course still worried about a possible loss.  We will be going back in a week from tomorrow for another ultrasound and then possibly be released to the OB.  Here’s the pic of our little one!

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2nd Monitoring Appointment….not the news I wanted to hear

FET #2 Update

I woke up this morning nervous for my ultrasound.   The results…..not good.  My follicle did not increase in size and my lining actually went down.  Why? Because someone wants to see how far they can push me before I have a meltdown!  Actually, I have no clue what is going on or what will happen from here.  I am assuming my body is still off because of the failed IVF.  I have always had normal cycles.  I would ovulate late but always get my period every 32ish days.   I think this could go three ways 1) They will tell me to come back in three days and see if there is any improvement 2) They will cancel the cycle and I will do a medicated cycle in December or 3) they will switch me to a medicated cycle. I chose not to do medicated because last time the estrogen did a number on me.

Source

I became severely depressed, distressed and ended up putting on 8lbs that cycle from these insane cravings.  I wanted to go natural this time but more than anything I want a baby so I will suck it up if I have to.  It’s appointments like these that are the hardest.  I want to cry.  I want to give up. I want my life back. But……I won’t give up yet.  Now I wait for the call….

Dirty 30

Weekend

Well it’s Monday and I am still recovering from the weekend.  My hubby threw me a surprise 30th birthday party on Saturday and I partied a little too hard and stayed up way too late.  Not sure what happened to the days I could party like a rock star and get up the next day feeling pretty good.  Now I have a 5 day hangovers.   My friend made me the wine glass below and of course force fed me wine all night.

I really had a great time.  After all that we are going through there are not many times where I loosen up and just enjoy myself.  It was much needed but I won’t be drinking like that for a long time.  I am hoping at least 10 months and that this FET works!

I know I am not supposed to be drinking during these cycles but come on you only turn 30 once right?

FET #2

We have officially started FET #2. We are trying for a natural cycle this time.  I will not be on any meds besides a trigger shot and PIO shots after transfer.  I chose to try this after a horrible experience after taking estrace for last FET.  I was extremely depressed and had the worst (going out for zebra cakes at 11pm) hungry horrors.  I put on 8lbs that cycle.  Not cool.  Which reminds me…..I think i need to go sugar free for a while.  Can you say 2.5 whoopie pies yesterday?  Gross.  Today I have a food hangover.  I am very excited for this FET and hope it is just what I need.  We will be transferring 2 embryos this time.  I gave eSET a try three times and we want to be more aggressive now.  I had my first monitoring appointment today!  Things are moving!