She’s here! Well she will be 4 weeks tomorrow so this post is a little late but she has been keeping us busy. Alana arrived at 1:34pm on December 10th and was just a tad bigger than her brother at 7lb 9oz and 19.5 inches. She is absolutely perfect and looks so much like Coen as a newborn.
I did hope to have a VBAC but things did not go my way. This pregnancy was a lot longer than Coen’s and at 41 weeks and 1 day it was decided that a C section would be my best option. Although I was devastated with the news, things were different with this section. I knew what to expect and it wasn’t at nearly midnight when I was completely exhausted. I was the first one to hold her and she was placed on my chest as soon as she was pulled out and she remained there while I was “put” back together. That experience made it feel less like an operation and more like a childbirth. The other unique thing was Coen was born 8 days early on 10/12 and Alana was 8 days late born on 12/10 so it just feels like it was meant to be.
I plan on posting her monthly updates as well as my postpartum ones just like I did for Coen.
I did test on our anniversary at 5dp5dpt and much to my surprise and excitement I saw a very faint line!!! Beta is tomorrow and tests have been getting darker. I am in shock! Tests are from Monday and Tuesday. Eeek
Transfer went so smoothly on Monday. We transferred one Grade A blast. In the past with my retroverted cervix it has been painful and the Dr always struggles with getting the placement right. The only time that it went this smoothly was when it actually worked…….but think pregnancy just changed things a bit and made it a little easier. I am not stupid. I have been in this position too many times. I can’t compare this time to any other one. I have cycles I was positive I was pregnant that I wasn’t and the one that worked that felt like other failed cycles. I took the day of transfer off but decided to go back to work the day after. I kind of wish I didn’t because that day ended up to be quite stressful. My boss gave her notice which leaves me with one new guy that has been there a month and one other that was leaving two days after my boss and one person who hasn’t started yet. The good thing is it will be an opportunity for me to grow before they decide what to do with the position. I also have not been following orders as far as not lifting heavy items…Coen is almost 30lbs so there really is nothing I can do!
As far as symptoms, I have felt the normal progesterone ones…..on and off cramps, backache and random twinge or pulling feeling, sore boobs etc. I have had these for negative cycles so I try not to obsess about them. (haha! That’s a joke) I did have a sharp pain or two in my uterus one night that woke me but that could have been anything. The past day or two I haven’t felt much. So now the question is when to test. Tomorrow at 5dp5dt is when I got a positive with Coen and it is also our 4 year anniversary. I don’t know if I should skip or test and know it is still early. When you are a POAS addict it is really hard to wait…..
I had my first lining check last Wednesday but it was a no go. My lining was only 6.3mm and at best it needs to be at least 8 before they schedule the transfer. I was bumped up from 2mg Estrace twice a day to 2mg three times a day. I had a second lining check on Monday and my lining was 8.6 but due to scheduling they had me come in one more time this past Wednesday. My lining at that point was 8.8mm. We started PIO shots Wednesday night and we have transfer this Monday at 10:30am! I am excited/nervous for the transfer. It has been over two years since our last transfer for Coen. I don’t want to feel the heartache of a failed cycle but I also know that it took a lot last time. I am not expecting it to work the first time or the second. I am going into it with the knowledge that it worked once before and there is no reason it could not happen again. We are also only transferring one blast which might decrease our chances a bit.
I didn’t think I would be writing this but I have been cleared to start a frozen embryo cycle! I honestly thought we may not even get the chance to try for #2. Why is it we always think the worst case scenario? It looks like all is good with my liver from a biopsy point. My gastro will be monitoring my liver levels during the cycle just in case. I am also waiting to hear on the genetic test for Celiac disease. I started Estrace Friday night and return for an ultrasound on March 3rd. Depending on my lining, we will most likely be transferring the week of March 8th with a beta right before our 4th anniversary.
The hubby and I don’t celebrate Valentine’ Day but we did spend the night away for a wedding 2 hours north. It was only the second time we have left Coen overnight but it was good to get away especially after the biopsy and stress I had been dealing with. I did indulge in a few cocktails and it was probably the first time I have had over two drinks in about two years. It would have been relaxing if we didn’t hit a storm both ways there and back. A little pic from the day.
Life has been busy and a lot has happened in regards to starting our journey for #2. In January, I finally got my period after 30 days of estrace and 10 days of provera. It was just a reminder how much I dislike being on hormones but as always it’s just another thing you just have to deal with. Over a week ago I got my meds and the FET was approved. All I had to do is stop the BCPs and wait for AF to start the Estrace but now we (I) have another barrier……. Since I had Coen I have been dealing with some stomach issues. I have always had digestive problems all my life but this was different. I thought it was my gallbladder and had an ultrasound a few months ago to find out I just had some “sludge” or debri in my gall bladder. It could be causing my problems but I figured I would deal with it as it was not necessary to have my gall bladder removed. After a few weeks of more stomach issues, sleepless nights in pain and beginning to fear food I finally saw the Dr. Long story short I also have elevated liver enzymes and have tested positive to having some autoimmune antibodies (Antinuclear Antibodies) in blood. The two may or not be related but I have to go for a liver biopsy Thursday.
The FET is postponed until after the biopsy. It wasn’t until I started typing this post a few days ago that I started to put two and two together. I googled ANA positive and failed IVFs and found a ton of info. This made me nauseous. I am starting to wonder if this was my problem all along and the reason for failed implantation? Oddly enough the time that actually took I did take Claritin and Benadryl which I had seen was an autoimmune protocol that some other women had done. I figured it was worth a try. I am not sure if this helped or it was just a coincidence. All I know is I have one beautiful little miracle. The problem is my heart selfishly aches for another and I am not so sure it is in the cards for us now depending on my diagnosis. Even if things look good I wonder if I will continue to have failed cycles. I am not ready to give up yet and until we figure out what is wrong I am trying to have faith. We are already so blessed with one perfect little man.
Ever have one of those days you just feel like no matter what you do things just go wrong? Today is one of those days. I didn’t sleep well and came into work having to deal with chaos. I just got off the phone with the clinic and I am starting to feel like we may never start FET #4. My body is not cooperating and I am beginning to be come frustrated. So far 7 days of Provera and nothing and then 10 days of Estrace plus 5 days of Provera with only spotting. Now I have to go on 30 fregin days of Estrace with the dose doubled and 10 days on Provera all just to get a period so I can do the basic testing. The worst part is the nurse saying she wasn’t sure why they even had me do only ten days of Estrace because that never works. Argh. It was just more time wasted. I never thought it would be this difficult or that my body wouldn’t get back to normal on it’s own. Why did I even stop breastfeeding at a year? Part of me just wants to quit before we even start BUT if I quit when it got hard I wouldn’t be seeing that cute little face every morning. So back on the fat pills starting tomorrow. Unless I change my mind……
Enough of my rant and the poor me because there are so many out there without even one child. I just need to learn to enjoy this journey as much as I can. We had a few pics taken last week for our Christmas cards this year…..here are a few that we have on it!