Recovery Weight Gain: Stop Caring What Other People Think

I spoke about body image in my last post and dealing with weight gain. Today I want to address why you need to stop caring what other people think and how to deal with people that may make comments about you. I think this was one of my biggest concerns when I started gaining weight for Hypothalamic Amenorrhea recovery. I was concerned with what other people would think about me as my body and habits changed.

First off, I can tell you making the decision to recover is the best decision I could make and I am damn proud of it. It will also be the best decision that you can make. Here’s the thing at the end of the day it’s you that has to deal deal with the repercussions and other people are far more interested in themselves than you. Think about when you go to the gym. Look around. Everyone is looking in the mirror at themselves too worried about what others think of them.


I’m sure if you are in recovery you have had these concerns or are afraid to start recovery and change your habits because you are fearful of making changes because of what others will think. It seems to be a trend that those suffering from HA or eating disorders may be a bit of a perfectionist, an overachiever or set very high expectations for themselves. You may always beat yourself up or maybe you don’t feel good enough or thin enough or pretty enough as others. Maybe you hear the words self love and wonder what that means and how can anyone feel that way about themselves. I am here to tell you that the relationship with yourself is your most important relationship. If you have a poor relationship with yourself then you need to make it a priority to change it.

The Perfectionist and Overachiever


From my perspective, there seems to be this relationship with women that overexercise, are always on diets and restrict calories who develop disordered eating patterns all because we are trying to put ourselves in this box of what we think others want us to be or what is acceptable or what we think we should be.

This ties into being concerned with what other people think because if you are going through HA recovery you are most likely going to have people make comments at some point. It could be compliments, it could be insults or it could just be observations. It’s all in how you take it. I know for me there are certain people that can make comments that really trigger me. Mom, that’s you!

You Won’t Recover or Get What You Want in Life

One of the main reasons not to care what others think is you won’t get what you want in life and you will not recover. You will be too worried about pleasing others or what other people think of you so you won’t take action and won’t get to the place you need to be.

The number one reason to not worry what others think is that it will hold you back. You won’t get what you want in life and you won’t get to a place where you are recovered. You may not give in to what your body is asking for because you are scared that people may comment on your food choices and your body changes. Think about on your death bed are you going to be caring what that girl at work thinks about you or are you going to be content because you made decisions for yourself and not others. You are going to be happy you made the decision to recover for your health and didn’t stay in that place of disordered habits because you were concerned that other people think you let yourself go. At the end of the day, you are making this choice to recover. Own it. Be proud of it. This isn’t some sort of victim situation. You are choosing to recover.

You Will Never Get To Know Yourself

Another reason to stop caring is you will never get to know yourself and what you want. I am a recovering people pleaser so I fully know that I chose not to do things because I was worried about what other people think and it really held me back. In regards to your body you may abuse it and you won’t love yourself. It’s really hard to get to a place of self love if every time you look in the mirror you say nasty things because your body isn’t what you think the ideal body should look like.

You may feel that others look one way and it’s different than what you look like so you do things to put a lot of strain on your body because of the stress you cause it by under eating or overexercising. Your body will never be what you want it to be if you want it to be someone else ideal. You don’t want to punish yourself for not being the way you think other’s think you should look like. Remember you are only given one body. Take care of it. Be compassionate with it. It’s the one thing that is going to stand by you through all of this.

Stop Feeling Not Good Enough

What goes hand in hand with doing things other people want is never feeling good enough. What you need to learn is that you are good enough and being good enough has nothing to do with other people it has to do with being enough for you. I hear often Brooke Castillo on The Life Coach podcast say “you can be the sweetest peach but you will always have someone that doesn’t like peaches.” Another way you may not feel good enough is when people start making comments and I guarantee through recovery you will have at least one person say something to you. It could be compliments, it could be insults or it could just be observations. First off you are good enough and what you look like is no one else’s concern and what they think about you has nothing to do with you and all about them.

Worrying about others and comparing is only going to make you feel inadequate. I know it is difficult to let things roll off of you but find something that works for you. Have that one support person you can go and cry to or the person who can be that voice of reason. If not, you are going to get really resentful of others and yourself or you may start playing victim and start blaming someone else for things. Lastly, if you worry what others think you are going to feel unfulfilled in life in general. Are you living someone else’s dream and not living your own purpose because you are too worried about what other’s think? Are you too concerned about what your body looks like that you don’t have the energy to do what you want in life? You lose your chance to be self aware because you are suppressing your feelings. If you take anything away from this realize one of the main reasons not to care what others think is you won’t get what you want in life and you will not fully recover.

Remember you are one step close to getting the life you dreamed of. Take Care.

Weight Gain In HA Recovery

Don’t Have Recovery Weight Expectations

Recently I posted on my IG stories how I was having a such a tough time with weight gain. I went out to buy clothes and it was awful. Nothing fit. So why was it bothering me so much? I am not meeting expectations that I should have never set with myself. I keep setting myself up for failure because I was setting an expectation to be recovered at a certain weight. This weight was a number that I had gotten pregnant at a number I had cycled at with no issues. At first it was a certain number on the scale. Once I got there I got panicked and I then set another number to try to not bypass which was a BMI of 22 the fertile BMI which is recommended in recovery. I got there and then I kept gaining and I was like “No, I can’t gain anymore!” but I could still fit in a certain size jeans so I was OK with it. And then guess what? I gained even more weight and I no longer fit in that size and this is what really pushed me over the edge. I am now over the 22 BMI and I am no longer fitting in the size I wore after I had a damn baby.

Your Body Decides Your Recovery Weight

All this goes back to my body either doesn’t feel comfortable yet or still has more repairing to do. This takes time. The more days that pass the stronger I get. So I keep going. Even if you feel like giving up on where you are on your journey don’t give up. Weight gain is tough. This is all about perseverance. In a blink of an eye it will be another year and you will be restored and it will all be a distant memory. Think back to something you regret. You don’t want this to be that. Be strong and keep going.

The fact that I have gained this amount of weight and I still don’t have a period is telling me I am not recovered yet. I am close to the highest weight I have ever been at. I have probably overshot by now but that shouldn’t matter but let’s be honest it feels like it does. It doesn’t feel good to put on clothes and be spilling out of them but let’s talk about that.

What are You Making Weight Gain Mean?


Let’s talk really about what you are making it mean. What does it mean to you that you have gained weighted? Are you making it mean you let yourself go? Is the problem the weight or is it truly the thought around what you are making it mean? Are you making it mean you aren’t worthy anymore. That you aren’t beautiful? Are you worried about what others are thinking of you?

My guess there are two big things here. One you are worried about what others think which I will cover in a future blog post and the second thing is you are probably upset with what you are making this mean. So ask yourself what are you making it mean? Write down why it is bothering you and take a good look at these reasons.

You are Not the Number on the Scale

Remember you are not your weight. I guarantee if you were to describe yourself or someone else it would not be by what they looked like. You would say that they are a great friend and great listener. Or maybe you would mention their funny sense of humor. You would describe who they are as a person. Gaining weight does not change who you are. It only makes you better and stronger for wanting to better yourself. Even if you are not recovering and maybe you are just gaining weight who cares?

There is a saying that “What you resist persists.” What needs to happen is you need to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and look like. If you are resisting this weight gain it is going to resurface two fold. If you aren’t allowing your body to recover and you are still holding on to having that lean physique you won’t get out of this. These expectations will set you up for failure and disappointment. You yes you are all about what is on the inside not the outside.

During recovery, we have a distorted view of what we see as normal. I am not going to go into all the diet industry and that BS because I think we already know that. But normal is what is healthy for you and no one else. Others may be able to be at 15% body fat and cycle but that is not you or they may be able to be that low of body fat and feel good. It’s OK to gain weight. I am giving you approval to and it’s also OK not to feel great about it all of the time. This is about accepting your feelings about it and to try and make improvements. Body’s have seasons. You may have a fit season, you may have a postpartum season you may have a prenatal season. There are times in your life that you don’t have the time to exercise or worry about your weight and times you are super fit. This is your recovery body. Love it for all it does for you.

Thanks for reading and let me know you deal with weight gain in recovery.

My Hypothalamic Amenorrhea Symptoms (Can You Relate?)

I have had a number of symptoms when I was at the peak of Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (HA) before I started recovery. At the time, I thought there was just something wrong with me. I thought that my body changed after kids and this was the new normal. Month after month I started to think maybe this isn’t normal.

Now everyone is different so don’t judge whether or not you have HA, by my symptoms but what I do think it is good to hear someone else’s symptoms to know that this isn’t normal and that maybe you do have HA..

The first big flag for me was how cold I was. I have always been cold but not to the extend that I was experiencing. Another big symptom I had was Digestive issues Issues and elevated Liver Enzymes. This goes without saying but libido seriously takes a hit when hormones are off. Sleep and Insomnia was another issue that would not go away. I was exhausted both mentally and physically because of the insomnia and because my body was crying out. I had body pains and recurring injuries that wouldn’t heal.
My brain was so foggy that some days I could’t think of words.

Do any of these symptoms sound familiar? Watch the video I made where I go into detail on each one of my physical symptoms.

Leave a comment if you shared some of these same symptoms and if and when they started to go away.


5 Tips to Start Hypothalamic Amenorrhea Recovery

Hi Everyone!  It’s been a long time I have posted and 3 .5 years after my last baby was born I am dealing with a new type of infertility.  Hypothalamic Amenorrhea!  The irony of never wanting my period to arrive and now I am praying to get it back.

I am currently working on recovering from HA (4 months all in) and I wanted to provide some tips if you are just starting your recovery journey from HA or your periods are starting to get sporadic.

I created a YouTube video on this topic if you would prefer to watch it here!

The first tip I have for your is to do your research:

I highly recommend Nicola Rinaldi’s book No Period Now what. The link to her site is here.  This book is the HA bible. There is no one more passionate with helping women get their cycles back than Nikola. She has a YouTube channel where she has a few videos and she has been on multiple podcasts. She has dedicated her life’s work to assisting and supporting women to get the periods back. I would be cautious with information overload when first diagnosed. It’s important to know that there is a lot of information out there that can be misleading or even damaging if you aren’t careful. Pay attention to the source of this information and make sure they are qualified to speak to it. I know that I turn to Dr. Google often but it can be slippery slope and you can end up spending hours obsessively looking for an answer or a quick fix.
Tip #2 Understand the Cause(s)
The second tip to start with recovery is to understand why you lost your period and when it happened. If you don’t know why you lost your period then it’s going to be really difficult to change the lifestyle behaviors to get it back or to understand the areas you need to work on. As I mentioned I don’t want to go into super detail in this video but the underlying cause will be some type of stress on your body. This stress is most likely related to an energy deficit caused by restriction on purpose or accidentally, it could be overexercise where your not fueling body and/or extreme stress added to the mix.
Tip #3  Don’t Compare
The third tip I have for you to start your recovery is DO NOT compare! This one is a non negotiable. I do think it is helpful to read stories about others that have gone through the same thing and got to the other side but I would be cautious because you can begin to hyper focus on how long it took others to recover, weight they put on to recover, how much they had to eat or if they could exercise to get it back. If you compare you are going to set yourself up for failure. You will look at those woman that only took 3 weeks to get it back that didn’t have to cut out exercise and only had to put on 2 lbs and you are going to beat yourself up when it takes you a lot longer or when you have to put on more weight and have to cut out all forms of exercise.
Tip #4 Find Support
The fourth tip I have for you is to find support. Support can look different for many people depending on your personality and where you are in life but I would recommend starting out with the HA support group that Nicola created.  If groups are triggering for you then drop out of it and consider some one on one support. If you need more you help on an individual basis you can sign up for coaching through Nicola and others like Kersten Kimura who I worked with.  There are also dietitians and counselors that can help you.
Tip #5 Create a Timeline for Going All In
I want you to create mini goals for yourself if you aren’t ready for the all at once approach. It may not be for everyone but I do think it can be helpful if you aren’t ready to jump all in or you are like most of us where the unknown of when you will get your period back will drive you crazy. What this is is if you aren’t ready to cut out exercise then give yourself a date when you will try to recover or slowly drop out days until your are “all in.
If you like these tips and would like more on HA or anything related make sure to sign up for updates.   What steps are you taking to recover?  Are there any other tips you have for newbies in this journey?  Good Luck.