Tag Archive | cramps

5dp5dt ~ Banned from POAS

As the weekend winds down my stress levels are on the rise.  My anxiety is only increasing as we get closer to the OTD.  The Beta Test is on Friday and I took a half day.  I figure if it is good news we will celebrate and if it is bad news I do not want the water works at the office.  I will go in for blood work in the morning and will get the call some time after noon.

My transfer was on Tuesday and I spent Tuesday and Wednesday on my butt.  This was my view for about 2 days straight.

Thursday we spent Thanksgiving with my family up North.  It was good to get my mind off of things and I was antsy after two days of being a “couch potato.”  My dad’s girlfriend cooked for us and it was our first Thanksgiving spent with my father in about 6 years.  We usually spend it with my mom.  Turkey looked perfect….

Friday and Saturday were filled with…..not a whole lot.  Which brings me to today….5dp5dt or 10dpo.  I did test today and yesterday only to see a BFN.  My emotions are all over the place.  One minute I am sure that this one worked the next I am almost in tears wondering what our next plan of action will be.  I am scared.  Not seeing a positive yet is making me more nervous.  I know it is early.  Too early to be worried.  But I am still feeling down.  My husband banned has made me promise not to test again till Wednesday.  At that point I would be 8dp5dt and if it was going to be positive it would most likely show up by then.  There are those rare cases where it takes a long time to show up but if I see a negative I will continue to test till Beta Day but I am going to assume this cycle was a bust.  As far as symptoms, I have not had many.  I was crampy day of transfer but that is because it took the doctor about 15 minutes to get everything situated.  We went ahead and transferred two beautiful blasts.  He did not give me the grade but here they are before they thawed……the “twins”


I think they did assisted hatching on them like they did last FET.  It is kind of protocol for FETs at the clinic if they are not hatching already.  Back to the symptoms…..I am bloated/full but that started around Thanksgiving when I started to stress eat.  Pretty sure this just has to do with an increase in salt and carbs.  I have had some “twinges,” cramps and weird pulsing sensations.  I looked at last FET and I had the same cramps and twinges as I do now so that’s not anything promising.  The only different feeling was the pulsing/poking on my left side but who knows I may have experienced it before.  It happened once or twice yesterday and today a few times and does not last long.  Maybe 10 to 15 flutters and then it disappears.  I really can’t describe it but it is on left side further in then where my ovary is.  Oddly enough I am feeling it right now.  The thing is I am super sensitive to everything so any pain, pinch, ache could all be in my head.   I have had no spotting, sore boobs, increased smells, etc.  I am not sure what to think.  I want this to be the cycle.  I don’t think I can take another failed one.  Now I have 3 sleeps till I get to test again.  Hmmm…how will I make it?

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Positive Thinking ~ 6dp5dt and 7dp5dt

6dp5dt

Monday was a really hard day for me.  I was so emotional, upset and just felt like this one failed.  Yesterday at 6dp5dt I woke up feeling better.  Still a little scared but not as sad.  I came home to a wonderful surprise.  He must be a keeper to deal with me (cranky pants) and still give me flowers and a card!

7dp5dt

I woke up this morning at around 2:30am to go pee but when I came back to bed I started getting really bad cramps.  At that point I couldn’t sleep anymore.  My mind was going and the cramps were getting to me.  I finally fell asleep about 4:30 till 5:30 so I am pretty exhausted today.  Even though I am a walking zombie I am feeling very optimistic.  I have still not tested but think I will pretty soon.  It HAS to be positive right?  We have such good chances and third time is the charm!  I can just picture those two lines showing up!

3dp5dt and 4dp5dt

3dp5dt

I was up early this morning with a stomach ache and cramps.  Could be the fact that dinner was popcorn and an ice cream bar!  Feeling a bit nauseous and crampy but not sure if those are symptoms or just my body saying “what the hell?”  I am trying not to obsess over every little could be symptom.  It will drive me insane.

It is labor day weekend and I am headed up to my friend’s lake house for the night.  She is home from Colorado so we are doing a little girls day/night with a few other friends.  I think it will be great to get away and try not to worry about all that is going on.  I went to the store this morning to pick up some fruit and munchies. I figure if I can bring some healthy snacks I can’t eat crappy the WHOLE time.  So I packed cucumbers, tomatoes from our garden, carrots, celery and fruit.

I am not going to lie.  I have NO desire to be in a bathing suit in front of anyone right now.  I am a stressed and when I am stressed I eat.  Think I am up about 3-5lbs this IVF.  I am doing my best not to beat myself up.  I know if this fails I will hop back on that treadmill and if it doesn’t well who cares if I gained some weight and I can still continue to exercise during pregnancy right?  I know a lot of women out there have an unhealthy relationship with their body.  I am way to hard on myself but I am working on it.  I wish I could just wear whatever I want and be comfortable but I never have been able to.

4dp5dt

Back home from the lake and we had a lot of fun and a lot of laughs which is what I needed.  I haven’t been feeling much so I get this worry in the pit of my stomach that this could be another failed IVF.  I want to be positive but everyone else seems to get cramps, pinches and twinges.  Or they just seem to know that the cycle worked right away.  I WAS told I have a 70% chance so I just need to remember this and try to be positive.