I did test on our anniversary at 5dp5dpt and much to my surprise and excitement I saw a very faint line!!! Beta is tomorrow and tests have been getting darker. I am in shock! Tests are from Monday and Tuesday. Eeek
FET #3 Update
Yesterday was miserable I cried on the way to the grocery store, held it back in the store as we passed by families, infants and the baby food section but broke down into huge sobs as soon as we left. I told myself we would never have what they have. I knew this cycle failed. I made the hubby discuss what we would do next….adoption or another cycle. I started mentally figuring out finances and how we could not attend one of the weddings we were invited to. I was so sure it failed I had 2 glasses of wine. You can imagine my disbelief this morning. I just wanted to test knowing it was real early to get it out of my system. I figured if it was BFN then I would wait till Thursday to test again. The first test was FMU and I thought I was imagining I saw a line. There was no denying it when I took another test. It is light but it is there. I can’t believe it…..I AM PREGNANT!
As the weekend winds down my stress levels are on the rise. My anxiety is only increasing as we get closer to the OTD. The Beta Test is on Friday and I took a half day. I figure if it is good news we will celebrate and if it is bad news I do not want the water works at the office. I will go in for blood work in the morning and will get the call some time after noon.
My transfer was on Tuesday and I spent Tuesday and Wednesday on my butt. This was my view for about 2 days straight.
Thursday we spent Thanksgiving with my family up North. It was good to get my mind off of things and I was antsy after two days of being a “couch potato.” My dad’s girlfriend cooked for us and it was our first Thanksgiving spent with my father in about 6 years. We usually spend it with my mom. Turkey looked perfect….
Friday and Saturday were filled with…..not a whole lot. Which brings me to today….5dp5dt or 10dpo. I did test today and yesterday only to see a BFN. My emotions are all over the place. One minute I am sure that this one worked the next I am almost in tears wondering what our next plan of action will be. I am scared. Not seeing a positive yet is making me more nervous. I know it is early. Too early to be worried. But I am still feeling down. My husband
banned has made me promise not to test again till Wednesday. At that point I would be 8dp5dt and if it was going to be positive it would most likely show up by then. There are those rare cases where it takes a long time to show up but if I see a negative I will continue to test till Beta Day but I am going to assume this cycle was a bust. As far as symptoms, I have not had many. I was crampy day of transfer but that is because it took the doctor about 15 minutes to get everything situated. We went ahead and transferred two beautiful blasts. He did not give me the grade but here they are before they thawed……the “twins”
I think they did assisted hatching on them like they did last FET. It is kind of protocol for FETs at the clinic if they are not hatching already. Back to the symptoms…..I am bloated/full but that started around Thanksgiving when I started to stress eat. Pretty sure this just has to do with an increase in salt and carbs. I have had some “twinges,” cramps and weird pulsing sensations. I looked at last FET and I had the same cramps and twinges as I do now so that’s not anything promising. The only different feeling was the pulsing/poking on my left side but who knows I may have experienced it before. It happened once or twice yesterday and today a few times and does not last long. Maybe 10 to 15 flutters and then it disappears. I really can’t describe it but it is on left side further in then where my ovary is. Oddly enough I am feeling it right now. The thing is I am super sensitive to everything so any pain, pinch, ache could all be in my head. I have had no spotting, sore boobs, increased smells, etc. I am not sure what to think. I want this to be the cycle. I don’t think I can take another failed one. Now I have 3 sleeps till I get to test again. Hmmm…how will I make it?
Happy Labor Day! It has been a good weekend but flew by like most long weekends! Today we went up to my sister in law’s lake house. It is beautiful up there but my heart feels heavy so I probably did not enjoy it as much as I should have.
It was another emotional day….I think the meds, stress and fear of failure are all finally getting to me. Before we left the house I had a breakdown, snapped at my mom when she called and had no desire to be around people. I sucked it up and felt better once we got up there.
Duncan loooooves swimming and playing ball so he was pooped out by the time we were ready to leave.
My mother had text me while I was up there saying sorry she got me upset. Funny it was completely my fault but she knows I am stressed to the max. I had text her back apologizing and that I was afraid of another failed cycle and living my life childless. When I got home I saw she had text me back saying “Kim I wish I could rock you in my arms and make you feel better. You will some day be a mother. I am sure” Of course this released more water works. But it is true. I can’t give up this easily. Even if this one fails and we need to take some time off we will not give up. I will be a mother someday, somehow.