Transfer went so smoothly on Monday. We transferred one Grade A blast. In the past with my retroverted cervix it has been painful and the Dr always struggles with getting the placement right. The only time that it went this smoothly was when it actually worked…….but think pregnancy just changed things a bit and made it a little easier. I am not stupid. I have been in this position too many times. I can’t compare this time to any other one. I have cycles I was positive I was pregnant that I wasn’t and the one that worked that felt like other failed cycles. I took the day of transfer off but decided to go back to work the day after. I kind of wish I didn’t because that day ended up to be quite stressful. My boss gave her notice which leaves me with one new guy that has been there a month and one other that was leaving two days after my boss and one person who hasn’t started yet. The good thing is it will be an opportunity for me to grow before they decide what to do with the position. I also have not been following orders as far as not lifting heavy items…Coen is almost 30lbs so there really is nothing I can do!
As far as symptoms, I have felt the normal progesterone ones…..on and off cramps, backache and random twinge or pulling feeling, sore boobs etc. I have had these for negative cycles so I try not to obsess about them. (haha! That’s a joke) I did have a sharp pain or two in my uterus one night that woke me but that could have been anything. The past day or two I haven’t felt much. So now the question is when to test. Tomorrow at 5dp5dt is when I got a positive with Coen and it is also our 4 year anniversary. I don’t know if I should skip or test and know it is still early. When you are a POAS addict it is really hard to wait…..
I was up early this morning with a stomach ache and cramps. Could be the fact that dinner was popcorn and an ice cream bar! Feeling a bit nauseous and crampy but not sure if those are symptoms or just my body saying “what the hell?” I am trying not to obsess over every little could be symptom. It will drive me insane.
It is labor day weekend and I am headed up to my friend’s lake house for the night. She is home from Colorado so we are doing a little girls day/night with a few other friends. I think it will be great to get away and try not to worry about all that is going on. I went to the store this morning to pick up some fruit and munchies. I figure if I can bring some healthy snacks I can’t eat crappy the WHOLE time. So I packed cucumbers, tomatoes from our garden, carrots, celery and fruit.
I am not going to lie. I have NO desire to be in a bathing suit in front of anyone right now. I am a stressed and when I am stressed I eat. Think I am up about 3-5lbs this IVF. I am doing my best not to beat myself up. I know if this fails I will hop back on that treadmill and if it doesn’t well who cares if I gained some weight and I can still continue to exercise during pregnancy right? I know a lot of women out there have an unhealthy relationship with their body. I am way to hard on myself but I am working on it. I wish I could just wear whatever I want and be comfortable but I never have been able to.
Back home from the lake and we had a lot of fun and a lot of laughs which is what I needed. I haven’t been feeling much so I get this worry in the pit of my stomach that this could be another failed IVF. I want to be positive but everyone else seems to get cramps, pinches and twinges. Or they just seem to know that the cycle worked right away. I WAS told I have a 70% chance so I just need to remember this and try to be positive.