Dirty 30

Weekend

Well it’s Monday and I am still recovering from the weekend.  My hubby threw me a surprise 30th birthday party on Saturday and I partied a little too hard and stayed up way too late.  Not sure what happened to the days I could party like a rock star and get up the next day feeling pretty good.  Now I have a 5 day hangovers.   My friend made me the wine glass below and of course force fed me wine all night.

I really had a great time.  After all that we are going through there are not many times where I loosen up and just enjoy myself.  It was much needed but I won’t be drinking like that for a long time.  I am hoping at least 10 months and that this FET works!

I know I am not supposed to be drinking during these cycles but come on you only turn 30 once right?

FET #2

We have officially started FET #2. We are trying for a natural cycle this time.  I will not be on any meds besides a trigger shot and PIO shots after transfer.  I chose to try this after a horrible experience after taking estrace for last FET.  I was extremely depressed and had the worst (going out for zebra cakes at 11pm) hungry horrors.  I put on 8lbs that cycle.  Not cool.  Which reminds me…..I think i need to go sugar free for a while.  Can you say 2.5 whoopie pies yesterday?  Gross.  Today I have a food hangover.  I am very excited for this FET and hope it is just what I need.  We will be transferring 2 embryos this time.  I gave eSET a try three times and we want to be more aggressive now.  I had my first monitoring appointment today!  Things are moving!

Quick Recap

Recap of the past few weeks

Since I have stayed away from the blog world for a few weeks I thought I would do a recap of what I have been up to.  I have been working out A LOT.  Have I lost any weight?  No.  But I feel so much better and I think I have put on a lot of muscle.  I feel leaner overall and good about myself.  I feel like I could do about ten posts on body image and the struggles with it during infertility treatments.  I have been eating very healthy…every 3 hours and mostly gluten free so my tummy is happy.

The past few weekends were filled with the fair….

dog sitting….

lots of cooking….


falling leaves……

and Duncan doing the usual….sleeping.

 

First Day of Fall

It is the first day of Fall today!!  The day started looking dreary but it cleared up and ended up being a beautiful day.  I started my morning at 4:15am….not by choice but because I just couldn’t fall back asleep.  I finally climbed out of bed around 5 and decided to head to the gym.  It was amazing there was not one single person there.   No one by the free weights….

or in the rest of the gym!  It was heaven.

Yes, I am that freak taking pictures of the gym a 5:30 in the morning.  I did a great shoulder workout which I found in Phase 2 of Jamie Eason’s Live Fit.  After that I jumped on the treadmill for an hour and burned 500 calories!

I think that is the most that I have seen on my heart rate monitor.  I did a 20 minute interval workout and then the 45 minute workout I said I would stop doing.  The interval workout I got here from Brittany but modified it a bit by making the walking part 3.8mph.

After a hearty breakfast I decided it’s time to take out the Fall decorations.  I really don’t have much and most of them are hand me downs. Hmmm maybe I could get crafty and make some decorations or centerpieces.  First day of fall also means I can break out the Fall Candles.  The things I get excited about…..

35 Minute “Burn and Firm” Treadmill Workout and Zac Brown

Yesterday was busy.  Busy is good.  I started my day by hitting the gym with a Shoulder Workout.  I typically do 4 sets of each exercise and do anywhere from 8-12 reps.

Shoulder Workout

  • Shoulder Press
  • Lat Raise
  • Front Cable Raise
  • Reverse Peck Deck

After lifting I did a 35 minute “Burn & Firm”  Treadmill Workout I got from Shape Magazine a few months ago.  Not the prettiest picture but Shape doesn’t have this one on their website.  I did an additional 20 minutes on the elliptical.

Breakfast

After a tough workout, I came home to a hearty oatmeal breakfast.

 

Dinner

We went to the Zac Brown concert last night so on our way there we had to stop for a quick bite.  This was my first Chipotle experience.  I had a chicken salad bowl with beans, lots of salsa, guac and corn. Yum.

Zac Brown was amazing! We aren’t really country fans but they are different.  It was a very upbeat concert and was great besides the wasted idiots in front of us that were blocking my view.  Some days it sucks being 5 foot 1.  But I would definitely recommend the concert and would go see them again when they come around.  We didn’t get home till late so I took today off and I needed some time to recoup after the bad news.

Good News, Wine and Popcorn….

After the BAD news I got yesterday I thought I would post some good news.

Good News

I found out I got an A in my Business Law class! This is my first class for my MBA.  I just finished my masters in Information Technology in April and with everything going on I thought it would be good for my mind to just keep going.  Also, I got a letter from the clinic that they froze 5 blasts this cycle not 3!  So that means we have 7 frosties waiting for us.  We will most likely be a Frozen Embryo Transfer this next round.  I am not sure if it will be medicated or natural but it probably won’t be till November.

Dinner

A bottle of wine (don’t mind the greasy, popcorn fingerprints)…..

and 2 bags of popcorn (Gross!)

After “dinner” I was craving something sweet so I tried to throw together a concoction to make a single serving cake.

I didn’t let it cook enough so it was a bit flat but I threw some cool whip and chocolate sauce on it and it was pretty good!

I spent my night sort of watching Season 1 of Game of Thrones but was updating my playlist for the gym  in the morning so I wasn’t totally paying attention.  I love to multitask!  Duncan did what he does best.  Sleep!

9dp5dt ~ Beta Tomorrow

I tested again this morning but it was negative.  Beta will be in the morning.  I am pretty much sure it will be negative but always have hope that I will get a nice surprise.  My husband is gone for the weekend for a bachelor party and I know he felt bad leaving but I really don’t mind.  I am just going to focus on me this weekend.  Do some reading, cleaning, cooking and relaxing.  All things that can help me de-stress.  It will just be me and the pooch!  I am going to continue to think of all the positives in my life.  I will grieve and then move on.  I called and made an appointment with the Dr for Wednesday.  I am interested to see what she has to say and what kind of tests we may do.

Labor Day ~ 5dp5dt

Happy Labor Day!  It has been a good weekend but flew by like most long weekends!  Today we went up to my sister in law’s lake house.  It is beautiful up there but my heart feels heavy so I probably did not enjoy it as much as I should have.

It was another emotional day….I think the meds, stress and fear of failure are all finally getting to me.  Before we left the house I had a breakdown, snapped at my mom when she called and had no desire to be around people.  I sucked it up and felt better once we got up there.

Duncan loooooves swimming and playing ball so he was pooped out by the time we were ready to leave.

My mother had text me while I was up there saying sorry she got me upset.  Funny it was completely my fault but she knows I am stressed to the max.  I had text her back apologizing and that I was afraid of another failed cycle and living my life childless.  When I got home I saw she had text me back saying “Kim I wish I could rock you in my arms and make you feel better. You will some day be a mother.  I am sure”   Of course this released more water works.  But it is true.  I can’t give up this easily.  Even if this one fails and we need to take some time off we will not give up.  I will be a mother someday, somehow.