Post Baby Mind & Body Update: Month 3

Of course about a few weeks late again but pics and stats are from 3 months!

Mind:

As I said in Coen’s post, this month flew faster than the last two.  The holidays are always so busy and I kept dreading knowing I was back to work soon.  The first day back was pretty awful.  It was go go go.  I felt defeated by the time I got home.  Between the emotions of leaving the little one and trying to give it my all at work I was drained.  Pretty sure there was a moment that I was ready to just give up and wanted to just walk out but I made it through.  I will try and do a day in the life post of a working mom.  It is so much harder than I expected.  There really is no down time during the week.  From the second I wake in the morning to when I go to bed I am non stop.

The little me time I had before has decreased even more.  I am alright with that but it just takes some adjusting.  I really need to work on trying not to do everything.  I have a hard time accepting help even from my husband.  Apparently I am always trying to prove I can do everything myself and I don’t know why.  I have also found that the past 2 years before getting pregnant I focused 90% of my energy towards getting pregnant and then while pregnant I focused all my energy into making sure I had a healthy baby and that we were prepared for him.  I now feel that I can finally focus some of this energy on me now.  I really want to focus on doing my best at work and really proving myself.

Body (Please ignore the cheesy pics):

I was really frustrated with my body this month.  I did not see any changes till about 3 weeks into the month.  The scale was stuck and there were no changes in how things were fitting.  I was recording what I was eating but it was hard to keep my calories in check during all the holidays.  All of a sudden it was January and between the new year, stress of knowing I will be going back to work and really watching what I was eating the scale started moving.

I dropped almost 3 pounds this month and only a 2lbs away from pre-pregnancy weight!  It feels so good to finally start seeing changes again.  My belly is still squishy and hips are much wider but I feel like the rest of me is back to normal.  To be honest, I am not sure my stomach or hips will ever go back to what they were but that is alright with me.  I still feel like with more fat loss I can achieve that flat stomach once again.  Much to my surprise I have found that my cardio is actually way better than what it used to be.  I have much more endurance and I think it is because I was in such great shape carrying around that extra weight when pregnant.  I haven’t been running but will need to start because my husband and I are set out to run a 5k come March.  A little St. Patty’s day run which will end at the bar for a victory drink.  This will be our first 5k and I have to admit I am not much of a runner.  Being only 5’1 I have little legs and definitely not a runner’s body.  I am slow and awkward but that is just fine as long as I finish it.

I took these after a workout so don’t mind the fact that I’m a sweaty mess.  The angle of the camera is a little different but my stomach has definitely become a little flatter this past month.  I also feel like my arms are just beginning to get some definition.

Two Months Postpartum

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vs.
Three Months Postpartum

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Two Months Postpartum

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vs.
Three Months Postpartum

Stats:

Measurements month 3

Goals for month 4: I managed to actually meet all of last months goals so that means I owe myself something special.  I am thinking a pullup bar or a new jump rope because the one at the gym is awful.  This months goals are to keep up the cardio, start doing some running, eat more veggies and eat when hungry not when bored.  I also want to start lifting heavier.  I toned it down a bit when I first started lifting after the baby from what I usually did just to ease into it.  I want to start setting some personal records for myself like pushups, pullups (can hardly do one anymore), how much I can squat, run, etc.

 

Post Baby Mind & Body Update: Month 2

Of course about a week late again but pics and stats are from 2 months!

Mind:

Everyday I feel like a different person.  The days I get a decent nights sleep I feel great and then the days I am waking 2-3 times a night or can’t fall asleep after a night feeding I feel awful.  I have always needed a good nights sleep to be at my best.  I am not one of those people that can function on minimal sleep but I am learning how to (sort of).  In a little over two weeks I go back to work.  I am pretty much having an anxiety attack over it!  It is bittersweet.  In one way it will be good to get back to a routine and I think having a career of my own is healthy for me as well.  I worked hard to get my masters and it would feel a little bit of a waste if I could not use it.  Could I (mentally) be a stay at home mom if we could swing it?  Definitely.  On the not so sweet side, it hurts to think I will be missing so much of my son’s life.  In a perfect world, I would be part time or work from home or would work part time.  Or of course if we win the lottery and never have to work would actually be ideal! Haha! I just don’t see that happening anytime soon.

Body (Please ignore the cheesy pics):

Blog 1 month

One Month Postpartum

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Two Month Postpartum

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One Month Postpartum

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Two Month Postpartum

Although I do see some changes on measurements, I only lost about 1.5 lbs.  I am now 5lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight and about 12lbs away from pre-IVF weight.  The first few weeks of this month my diet was not so perfect.  I ate well during the day but then I ate a lot at night so I know that played a factor in things.  I have cleaned it up but scale is hardly budging and that extra flub seems to be sticking around.  I am trying not to let it bother me and know that my body is doing a lot right now.  It is providing life for our son and I need to not let a little extra weight bother me.  I would never stop breastfeeding just to lose the weight.  I am actually beginning to enjoy breastfeeding because it creates such a bond between us and I know in a few short weeks I will not be able to it as much.  Instead I will be bonding with that damn breast pump.

I am hitting the gym 5 days a week still and mostly lifting.  This week after the scale has been at a standstill for 3 weeks I have upped my game and added in some cardio intervals a few times a week.  I am not a big fan of cardio but since I am keeping my calories high to keep my milk supply up I need to burn them another way.  I have been tracking my calories and only creating a small deficit.  I have dropped it about 200 calories and keeping a close eye on it.  If it affects my milk supply I will eat more.

I have been also been trying to keep my motivation up by following some positive influences.  I love Natalie Hodson.  She has such a positive perspective on things and is so real in her postpartum journey.  She also looks absolutely amazing after having her second almost 10lb baby.

Stats:

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Goals for month 3:  At least 3 20-30 minute cardio sessions, eat more veggies, not beat myself up and keep track of calories.  If I can do all this, lose weight during the holidays and going back to work, I deserve something nice like a massage or new gym gear!

 

Back at the Gym ~ Insecurities Post Baby ~ 7 weeks postpartum

I’ve had a bunch of posts that I have started and just not had the time to finish.  It seems I will start one and then I get caught up in feedings, diaper changes, baby cuddles, etc.  Coen has had quite a fussy day so with the advice of my husband I have locked myself away for a little down time which means I can actually finish one of my half written posts!

Although I was just “released” to exercise last Wednesday, I started going to the gym 4 weeks postpartum.  Yeah, it was probably stupid but I listened to my body and was very, very cautious.  A C-section is not something you want to mess with but yet I can’t sit still and getting to the gym was probably the only time I could force myself away from the baby.  It’s funny because those first few days\weeks after baby you think you look great.  You are so used to this huge old belly that your now shrunken belly makes you think you look so small…..then a few weeks pass by and that soft post baby belly does not look so good to you anymore.

Working out while pregnant made me feel so strong and confident.  At the gym, people were just amazed that the 38 week pregnant lady was doing barbell step ups and bicep curls!  Now I am just back to the old Kim with only the remnants of the pregnancy left.  The first day back at the gym I felt ok.  I was just happy to be back at the gym and then I started getting self conscious.  I started to struggle to find something to wear to the gym and started talking myself out of even going.  I was discouraged that I couldn’t do much there and worried about what people thought of me.  I wanted to write “Just had a baby 6 weeks ago” across my forehead so people would know why I was so weak and looked the way I did.  I have always been someone to know my way around the gym and have always been confident in what I was doing there.  I started second guessing my form, worried about how my squishy belly stuck out so much when I would bend over and just became overly self conscious.  I knew I would not be one of these women that was back to pre-pregnancy size right away because I have ALWAYS had to work hard to get in shape.

In my head, I still feel like the old me…..the pre-IVF me….the one in this picture….but when I look in the mirror it is much different.

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2011 – Pre-TTC

I am using the picture above and a few others as my motivation to get back to where I was before all the IVFs and pre-TTC.

Now these feelings and insecurities have not completely gone away over the past 3 weeks but they are slowly diminishing.  Between everything my body has been through, the hormones that are still surging through it and the lack of sleep no wonder I am not feeling 100%.  I mean really…… in the grand scheme of things I should be proud I am even back to the gym this early and to be honest I am proud of myself for that.  Most of all I am proud of the journey it took to even get here….to become a mom.  Getting back into shape is just another hurdle or challenge that I have to go through which keeps things interesting…..

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38 weeks Pregnant vs 5 weeks Postpartum

Post Baby Mind & Body Update: Month 1

I have been busy with the little guy so this post is a little late but the pictures and stats are from one month postpartum!

Mind:

After dealing with infertility, going through IVF treatments and having a history of depression, my counselor wanted me to be aware that I have a good chance of getting PPD.  I am definitely not out of the water as it has been only a month but I feel really good.  PPD can show up anytime within the first year after baby from what I am told.  I didn’t get the baby blues and have yet to have a breakdown and even cry since Coen has arrived.  Like I said this has YET to happen! This first month I have been in a euphoria.  I just look at our little miracle and can’t help but smile.  Of course it is not all easy and I have good days and bad days.  The days I get less sleep I do feel a little down and off but that’s how it has always been for me.  There are a few things that I have learned in the past that really keep me balanced…sleep, eating well and working out.  When I am doing enough of all three of these I have a sense of contentment.  Well since I hadn’t been able to work out because of the C-section and sleeping isn’t always a given I have at least been eating healthy.  I really think this has helped a lot.  I am still eating clean (most of the time) every 2-3 hours for about 5-6 meals a day.  Since I am breastfeeding I find myself eating a ton.  I think I am eating more now then when I was pregnant.

Body:

I had a very active pregnancy which I will post about later.  I took the first trimester off from anything other than walking.  I gained very quickly in the beginning but it seemed to slow down at about 6 months.  Before that every calculator I used and every time I would look online at other woman’s weight gain I had gained too much.  It was discouraging but I knew that my body was doing what it needed.  I would recommend staying away from the scale, calculators and just listen to your body.  Pregnancy changed my view on my body image.  I realized how hard I had been on myself and how truly amazing the body is!  I ended up gaining a total of 26lbs which is right at the low end of normal weight gain..  But don’t forget I was up about 7-10 lbs from all the IVF meds and stress when I got pregnant.

The day my water broke:

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One Month after Baby…..some very less than flattering  pictures but they will help with accountability and motivation!

Blog 1 month front

Blog 1 month

At one month postpartum I have lost all but 7lbs to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight and I probably have another 7 to get to my pre-IVF weight.  Although, the number on the scale is really not as important as how I feel and how my clothes fit!  I can button my pre-pregnancy jeans but I am just about busting out of them.  I wear yoga pants everyday because of the C-section incision and I don’t want to buy new jeans for just a few months!  My game plan to get into shape?  Not really quite sure yet.  I need to find something that works for me.  It will most likely include some cardio and mostly lifting at home and at the gym.  It will be all about how to squeeze in a workout while the baby sleeps.

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