How is your relationship with yourself? Do you look in the mirror and say positive things? Or are you one to beat yourself up when it comes to how you look?
Today I wan to talk to you about accepting your body where it’s currently at. Not where you want it to be. Not 5 lbs ago. There are lots of lessons I have learned in recovery while deliberately putting on weight. No matter what your goals are it’s important to accept your body at every stage because there will always be things you can’t control about the way you look. If you are always hating your body because it’s not skinny enough, you don’t have enough muscle or for any other then I’m talking to you and I bet you are sick of always worrying and stressing about it.
I’ve made drastic improvements on how I talk to myself and I am much more neutral and accepting about my body now but this stuff takes work. It’s so sad but I recall that every birthday as a little girl I wished I was skinny. Every time I threw a coin into a wishing well I wished I was skinny. I envied my friends and their flat stomachs. I lived my life around getting that ideal body and wanted to hide the body I was in. If you had asked me what is the worse thing that can happen in life I would tell you it was to gain weight.
I remember being so angry at my body and wished I could just cut my fat off my stomach. Then I would be so much happier. I finally got to that place where I was super thin and guess what? It was too much for my body to handle. I lost my period. I found out I had osteoporosis Is that worth it? Definitely Not! I had to spend every moment fixated on working out and eating right. I made fitness my priority. My quality of life sucked.
I understand weight loss can feel addictive. It’s a high when you step on that scale and see a lower weight but your weight does not define who you are or does not dictate how happy you can be. The one person that gets to make that choice is you.
Mindset Shifts Take Time
The number one thing that you need to do for yourself is to be kind and be patient. This stuff takes time. During this process you need to do the work. This is going to be something you do on a daily basis. As you improve your relationship with your self and the way you view the way you look then it will start to get easier and you will need to focus less on it. Just like working out doesn’t get you muscle overnight changing your body image and your confidence about your body doesn’t change overnight.
If you truly want to find a place of food freedom, freedom from the scale and endless hours in the gym to restore your health and period you need to get to a place of acceptance If you feel good about yourself you are going to be confident and you won’t be worrying about that damn scale being an extra few or 5 or ten pounds higher and you can start living your life.
My Top 5 Tips to Gain Confidence in Your Body and Accept Weight Gain
Tip #1 Is to surround yourself with other people that are positive.
If it is triggering for you to be around friends that only talk about how they are fat or need to lose weight or even the new diet they are on then avoid them. I know it may be hard but it’s not forever. This also means the people you follow on social media. If you are following people that are really lean or extremely muscular and don’t portray a body type you could have without going to extremes then you need to stop following them. They are going to make you feel worse about yourself and make you think that being that lean is attainable and healthy. Yes, some woman can be naturally very thin but that is not the case with most women.
Tip #2 Wear Clothes That Fit and Flatter You
There is nothing worse than trying to squeeze your body into pants or clothes that don’t fit or are unflattering for your body. You will never be confident and accepting of your body if your clothes are too snug or you feel depressed after you try and put your clothes on. Stop wearing the baggy shirts and leggings. Try to find clothes that flatter your new body. Follow body friendly fashion models to come up with ideas.
Tip #3 Stop Body Checking
Don’t hone in on one area of your body especially the areas you like the least. If you are body checking and looking in a mirror see yourself as a whole person not that one area. Speaking of body checking just stop doing it. Don’t let those moments set you off and ruin your entire day by focusing in on areas that you wish to change or that have recently changed. It doesn’t feel good to pick yourself apart in the mirror
Tip #4 Changing Your Thoughts
Recognize your thoughts and how they are making you feel. Those negative thoughts aren’t going to go away overnight but it’s all in how you react to them. It’s about learning to hear them and move past them without letting them affect you. If you really want to take this a step further going through the process of changing your thoughts is super helpful.
If you can’t jump to I have a beautiful body go through the process of getting to a neutral place first. This is where I started. I would see myself in the mirror gaining weight and I would think I’m getting so big and I would start to replace it with:
- This is my body.
- This is my recovering body.
- This is what a body looks like that is trying to restore hormones.
- This extra weight is exactly what I need.
- This is exactly what I am trying to do.
- This is what a healthy body looks like.
- It’s possible I could I could love my body.
Let go of judgement.
Stop judging yourself and others. Most of the time if you are having thoughts about others and their weight gain or body composition it is because you are insecure about yourself. Ask yourself, do you honestly think you will have people’s approval if you are thinner? If the answer is yes then you either have a distorted sense of truth or you are correct and these people are not worth your time. If we are picking apart other people we don’t feel good about it later on. If you say good things about others and appreciate them for other aspects besides their bodies its easier to find good things about ourselves as well.
Remember this stuff doesn’t happen overnight. Be patient with yourself .