The “Inbetweens” and a short week

FET #2 Update

I have pulled myself away from blogging the past few weeks.  Hell I have pulled myself away from everything and everyone I know.  I don’t even want to be around myself some days.  I am frustrated, sad and just ready for this journey to have a happy ending.  I think the “inbetweens” are some of the hardest times.  By “inbetweens” I mean inbetween IVFs and inbetween test results.  Is this a word? Probably not but that’s OK I am allowed to use it.  I find not preparing or planning for something is the hardest for me.  I find myself feeling a lot more depressed about IF then at other times.  I also find myself affected more by all the little things like the pregnant woman heating her food up next to me at work, the pregnancy tests on the end of the shampoo aisle or the fact that every time I  log onto facebook it’s another pregnancy or birth announcement. The past few times we have jumped into birth control to get ready for another cycle right after a failed one.   This time because of the testing I chose not to take them.  When I am not actively doing something I feel anxious and find myself thinking more about our failures.  Even if I am just on Birth control pills it feels like I am doing something.  Now there’s just a dull lull. Waiting…waiting…..

Source

Well the good news is I finally got some results back.  Both me and my husband’s karyotype test came back normal.  The biopsy…normal.  Now the question is then why does it keep on failing??? Also since this month was my first month taking nothing in six months guess what happens? nothing.  No ovulation and I am on day 30.  I have called the clinic and they will be putting me on pills to start my period and then we will be going into our FET cycle.

What I am looking forward to

Enough of the depressing stuff.  Good News is that I have a short week this week!  It has been a rough couple of weeks at work.  Very busy but we had Monday off for the holiday and I took off Friday. Yay Me!

 

 

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10 thoughts on “The “Inbetweens” and a short week

  1. I hear you loud and clear. I sent myself home from work at lunchtime as you can only sit in the toilets fighting back the tears for so long. I’d done such a good job staying sane for years & throughout my IVF cycle but now that I’m waiting for AF to come to get some follow up tests done I am a broken woman. This shit is tough & we totally deserve a break x

    • I never used to cry and it is now a daily occurrence it seems like. I am sorry you have to deal with this BS as well it hurts so bad. IF sucks and I am so ready to for a positive outcome.

  2. Hang in there. I know exactly how you’re feeling. If I’m not obsessing about baby stuff I need to obsess about something else. Right now I’m trying to focus on work stuff. Enjoy your short week and the fair!

  3. Not moving forward, not working our plan, drove me absolutely crazy! I just need forward motion, even if it’s going to be a long time before we REALLY do something. As long as I have a list of things to do to get to a transfer, I’m OK.

    I totally feel you!

    And I go dark too in between cycles. Hell, I do it when I’m cycling. It’s just so hard to be around people when your mind is constantly going and looking forward to starting another cycle.

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