WTF Appointment

IVF #2 Update

Last Wednesday we had our WTF appointment with the Dr.  She still believes it’s just bad luck and IVF WILL work for us.  We had blood work taken for karyotype testing and I go back next Monday for another Sonohystogram and a biopsy.  I feel like I have lost a lot of faith not with the Dr. but that IVF will ever work for us.  This failed cycle has caused more grieving than the first two.  I always heard most people get pregnant within three cycles.  Now I am scared.  Scared we will never have children.  The emotions that a failed IVF causes are almost debilitating.  I am angry, sad, bitter and discouraged.  I want to believe it will work but I just feel otherwise.  Usually at this point I am very positive and ready for the next cycle.  I am not feeling that this time.  Our next cycle most likely will be a Frozen Embryo Transfer and we are going to do a natural cycle.  We have 7 embryos just waiting so unless we find chromosomal issues we will be going this route.

Something that makes me happy…..fall and pumpkin spice coffee.  I think I am going to put a list together of goals for Fall.  We probably won’t be cycling again till November so I have some time to lose some of this IVF weight and focus on non-IVF stuff.  Operation Get Healthy will be underway.

14 thoughts on “WTF Appointment

  1. hopefulandhungry says:

    Kim, I completely understand your feelings. We are hoping to start IVF #2 (fresh cycle) in the next week or 2 and I’m not excited at all compared to last time. I have this feeling of “I’m so over this!”. I’ve been doing some reading on immunity stuff and now I’m worried that this could be an issue. Enjoy your time off before ramping up again. Feel free to email me if you want to vent. 🙂

    • Kim says:

      I have been reading about the immunity stuff too and I don’t know if I am making things worse! There is so much to worry and stress about during IVF it is no wonder why we are all cuckoo during a cycle. Best of luck to you!

  2. infertilitydoessuck says:

    I totally get feeling like it won’t happen… When my fresh failed it was the biggest blow… Like even ivf can’t fix our issue… I felt horrible and a failure but I learned that sometimes its just luck and even ivf is not guaranteed…have you considered getting a 2nd opinion? Or immune testing??? There are 4 factors: egg, sperm, uterus and the lab… I hope your next cycle is it for you!!!

    • Kim says:

      That’s exactly it. I feel like IVF is that last stop so if it doesn’t work what do we have left. We are waiting to seek another opinion. As far as immunity testing I don’t think there are any clinics around us that do it.

      • infertilitydoessuck says:

        I would def ask your dr. to see if they can order the tests for you…I dont think they are special but most drs do not believe that immunity plays a role in ivf failure…I hope the 2nd opinion helps shed some light on what the issue may be ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

  3. Courtney says:

    Hi there, Kim,

    I followed a very similar path as you. We did IVF #1, and it flat-out failed (after all of my positive thinking, how could that have happened 😉 ?). We did FET #2, and we had an empty sac (and then a D&C). After the FET, I told my RE that I was over it and wanted to be done, that I was scared of the next cycle failing because they said it should take 3 cycles, and that would be our third and what if it fails? He told me that when they say it takes 3 cycles on average, that does NOT include FET’s. If that’s the case, then you have one cycle left to hit the law of averages.

    Don’t get down just yet.

    But with that said, I just want to say that I was so where you are when we did our 2nd fresh cycle. I was over it. I was not excited. I was tentative. I was so detatched that I forgot to start estrogen patches for 4 days, and went for a couple runs after the transfer (I forgot that was not allowed – because I forgot that I had cycled). That was the cycle I got pregnant. I’m not saying that relaxing and dis-engaging will make it work – I would never say that – but I truly believe that being disengaged is the best way to be. It will help you keep the focus on other things, and not get wrapped up in every step of the IVF process. It will make the TWW easier.

    A lot of people will tell you to stay positive, and that’s all well and good… but it’s OK to be over it. Remember, all the positive thinking in the world doesn’t get us pregnant – or else you and I would have gotten pregnant after IVF#1. If you ask me, it’s better to be over it. I’m doing an FET now for another baby and I’m so detatched that I’m actually living my life, and it’s been nice!

    • Kim says:

      Thanks for the response. I am glad I am not the only one who gets all “negative Nelly.” Haha! I think if they never gave us the stats in the first place I wouldn’t feel as discouraged. I hope being disengaged works for me too. It basically comes down to if its going to work its going to work. There is nothing I can do to change that outcome. Good Luck on your FET!

  4. Jess says:

    Hey Kim, Im so sorry your cycle didn’t work out. Like Courtney said they do mean fresh cycles (including resulting FET’s) when they say 1-3 cycles – as always clinics getting our hopes up. You’re lucky to have all those frosties honey fx this next FET is the one for you. In the meantime enjoy that coffee, and an extra one for me – no pumpkin spice here in Australia!

    • Kim says:

      Hi Jess! How you doing? I always assumed they meant 3 transfers. We still have tons of embryos for multiple FETs. It just always feels like everyone else gets pregnant on their first IVF. Thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot. I will definitely have a coffee for you 🙂

  5. J says:

    I am also beginning IVF #2 and I’ve had many of the same thoughts as you have. I rounded up as many blogs as I could find with stories of success after multiple attempts at IVF. You can find the link on my blog in my Sept ICLW post. It does seem like every blogger I follow gets pregnant after their first IVF, but research shows that it is usually in 3 tries. 7 frozen embryos is fantastic and tells you that even though IVF #1 didn’t work, IVF IS WORKING for you.

  6. Lisa says:

    I am thinking of you. I have a hard time staying positive about this whole IF situation. It really makes me so negative about everything. I look at women who are pregnant with so much jealousy in my heart. I am hoping to eventually move past this. Lisa from ICLW

    • Kim says:

      Hi Lisa- What’s the name or link to your blog? Even the day to day is such a struggle sometimes when we are feeling down about IF. I too have jealousy for pregnant women and pretty much anyone with a baby. It’s a natural feeling while going though this.

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