Labor Day ~ 5dp5dt

Happy Labor Day!  It has been a good weekend but flew by like most long weekends!  Today we went up to my sister in law’s lake house.  It is beautiful up there but my heart feels heavy so I probably did not enjoy it as much as I should have.

It was another emotional day….I think the meds, stress and fear of failure are all finally getting to me.  Before we left the house I had a breakdown, snapped at my mom when she called and had no desire to be around people.  I sucked it up and felt better once we got up there.

Duncan loooooves swimming and playing ball so he was pooped out by the time we were ready to leave.

My mother had text me while I was up there saying sorry she got me upset.  Funny it was completely my fault but she knows I am stressed to the max.  I had text her back apologizing and that I was afraid of another failed cycle and living my life childless.  When I got home I saw she had text me back saying “Kim I wish I could rock you in my arms and make you feel better. You will some day be a mother.  I am sure”   Of course this released more water works.  But it is true.  I can’t give up this easily.  Even if this one fails and we need to take some time off we will not give up.  I will be a mother someday, somehow.

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15 thoughts on “Labor Day ~ 5dp5dt

  1. The stress during the TWW after an IVF cycle is the absolute worst. You are pumped to the brim with hormones and invested to much time, energy and money it is easy to become overwhelmed. It sounds like you have a wonderful mother to support you along the way and then inspire you when you bring your baby home. I’m thinking of you and hoping the next few days bring two strong lines.

    • Thank you! Your words had me tearing up! This is what I mean I could cry at the drop of a hat and I never cry. It is so true you put so much into the cycle and that is why it is so hard. You are right my mom is absolutely wonderful. I know when she sees me like this it tears her apart not being able to make it better. Good news is I am feeling much more positive today but still very emotional.

  2. Hiya! glad I found your blog.

    I’m 7dp5dt, so we’re pretty close date-wise :-).

    I can’t explain why, it’s just a gut feeling, but I can tell this FET didn’t stick. I’m bummed about it and I’ll continue to text until transfer (and hope) but somehow the blow is a lot softer than the last cycle.

    Having said that, I was looking at photos of myself from last year to now and wow, I have aged! The stress of IF, $ issues that go along with it (we’re self-pay) and work and just the general toll of always feeling on the brink of going down a new path in life- have run me down. It’s too much!

    I’ll be checking in to see how it goes for you :-0 GL

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